Blackwoods Knows

The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes 2024

Written by Blackwoods | Aug 22, '22

With Father’s Day just around the corner, the dad jokes will be coming in thick and fast. Here’s 10 of our the corniest, punniest or just downright daggy dad jokes we’ve come across. Let us know your best dad joke in the comments!

 

Here are some dad jokes from the Blackwoods team:

How do you know when your clock is still hungry? It goes back four seconds. Tim F

Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day. Judy N

I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs. Adam G

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Shane W

What is the least trustworthy metal? Steel. Steven B

Why can’t you build a casino in the jungle? Because of all the cheetahs. Caroline N

What do you call a person with a nose but no body?  Nobody knows (no body nose). Jodie C

Why can't the cloud remember anything? - Its memory is a little foggy. Steven B

What did the cat say to the octopus with a gun in each tentacle..... one short buddy!  Will A.M

What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesaurus. Nathan G

 

Here are some dad jokes from the past:

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize.

I shared a joke during our MS Teams meeting today. Nobody found it remotely funny.

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue.

My kid is blaming me for ruining their birthday. That's ridiculous, I didn't even know it was today!

Why don't pirates shower before they walk the plank? They will wash up on shore after.

Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes? To Scandinavian when they arrive back from sea.

What do you call a factory that makes ok products? A satisfactory.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing it just waved.

I've been investing heavily in stocks... chicken,beef and vegetable. Soon I'll be a bouillonaire!

My dog has just eaten a whole set of scrabble tiles, we have taken him to the vets.... but no word yet.

My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl. I said "No I never knew he could".

I have been thinking of taking up Meditation, I figure it is better than sitting around doing nothing.

What generation does Forrest Gump belong to? Gen A.

When does a joke become a "dad Joke"? When it becomes apparent.

 

Why did the hammer apply for a job at JBS Tools? Because it heard they were nailing it in the industry! Get your Dad something from JBS Tools for Fathers Day.